oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
