No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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