he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
