I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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