I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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