Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
