She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
