Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
