Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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