Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
