so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
