I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Did we literally take a cab across the street
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
