what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Semen is not good for contacts.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
