I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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