Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
