Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
