Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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