Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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