Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
