you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
