just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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