I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She told me I should be a condom model.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
