She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
A+ Viking dick
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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