i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
