yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
