Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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