8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
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