yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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