i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
