You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
