i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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