I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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