We won't sleep together?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
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Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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