If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
