I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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