I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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