There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
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I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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