Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
