just come out here and I will go home with you...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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