OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
