Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
