I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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