she was so not down for the gang bang
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
