We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize