Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
