i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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