I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
