I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
