i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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