Have you finally orgasmed yet?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
