Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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