C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
