Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Still dying that you shit outside
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
