I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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