So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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