and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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