We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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