allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
