Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
