his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
