Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Shame is for Republicans.
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